You see I am sharing finally, because I have learned that I am not given these thoughts simply for myself. Sometimes I have experienced God's guidance through the thoughts and words of other people who may or may not have known that He was using them. I am not saying all of this will click with everyone and it doesn't have to. I just want to share ok?
Lately (read "the past five months") I have found myself writing more prayers in my journal than my typical topic driven articles. Some asking for my pride to be shattered over and over. Others I am simply thanking God for His faithfulness. In most I am asking for guidance hoping for affirmation in my current path. In my latest written prayer I came to realize how much shaping God has done in and around my life.
He has brought amazing friends into my life whom I consider family these past few years. Through them I have learned so much about forgiveness, honesty, accountability, loyalty, and true fellowship. I have overcome difficulties with these people and they probably know me better than I know myself in some ways. I pray that God brings you all in to a community like the one I have been blessed to be a part of.
He has shaped me more into the man that I desire to be. I am gradually becoming more confident in my abilities. I speak up now rather than letting a moment slip by. Years ago I'd be silent in situations that I now find passion in. I am breaking down compartments in my life. Living as a whole is much simpler than trying to be three things in one day. I have been taught to listen and understand first (I still need work on this one) before I react. I have learned to take up challenges and go with them (Professor Noe those Greek sentences are coming). Most especially God has taught me to make my faith, my faith. I am not the most read individual and actually have not read all of the Bible yet either, but I dig into the Gospels. I especially like setting up the historical context of the Bible up for someone. One thing I am still trying to grapple with though is what really motivates me to do certain things.
Currently I am reading three books not immediately related to any class I am taking here in Jerusalem. Catch -22 is my fiction fix. I read this for an escape, because I know its better for me (especially my bad eyes) than a movie, and it's more fun to read in a garden than watch a movie inside. I am reading The Land Called Holy by Robert Louis Wilken because it was recommended to me by a professor and I like reading recommended books (I keep an unofficial list of all that are said my classes). It's thick and difficult to get into initially but the benefits to my understanding is worth the effort. Then there is the odd ball. I am reading a book titled Towers of Stone: The Battle of Wills in Chechnya by a polish journalist. When reading this work I feel like I am making an escape into another world than I am sorely reminded this is non-fiction. I've read enough Tom Clancy and Vince Flynn to know political intrigue can effect military action on the black op level. In Chechnya it effects every level. It resulted in the complete destruction of the largest city in Chechnya, Gronzy. I have asked myself why do I keep reading this? I can guess where this is going, because it's non-fiction and the ending does not have to be happy. I've given up hoping this book ends happily, because it was written a few years ago and as far as I know the area is still recovering from the two wars. Also in fiction there is usually a clear good and bad team to root for. In Chechnya not so much. I don't know why I am reading this. It can't simply be for entertainment that'd be sadistic. It can't be for personal gain, because if I wanted just personal gain I would stop reading and go for a run. Maybe there'll be a breakthrough in my understanding later if not that's ok.
I want to conclude with a prayer.
Lord,
Thank you for the silence. Thank you for the intention behind it and reminding me to be still and know that you are Lord. Train me to be quiet before you and listen. Give me confidence to speak boldly of you. Continue to protect and mold all of us Lord. Do not forget your quiet servants. Thank you for your sacrifice. May we all find you in the silence.
Amen
Blessings!
Vince - thank you for sharing your prayer. I was challenged by your thankfulness for silence. Frustration is a much easier response.
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned running - do you have places to run in Jerusalem?
Hope you have a great week!