September 22, 2011

Never was a Poet

At the start I relied on others.
  Too young too small,
A reasonable concern from mothers.
  Attempts to keep away the gall.

If only we could steer clear,
  Our fear inevitable.
We a utopia revere.
  The decisions of others now regrettable.

Pursue our own power,
  Happy for a while.
Then our grapes go sour,
  'Til we bathe in a rubbish pile.

A vicious circle of vice
  Has our luck has run cold?
We are no better than mice
  for the lies we ourselves have told.

September 9, 2011

Looking Backwards to See Ahead

A backpack is a simple contraption and most people these days do not need much explanation as to how it works or what you use it for.  Most school children are given a backpack periodically.  Some will convey personality by writing all over it.  Others (my young self included) prefer to put lots of key chains on the zippers.  Still others prefer a stoic no frills look (I later adopted this method for convenience sake).  Most backpacks stick around for a few school years and will eventually be replaces due to weathering, outgrown, etc.  During my college years I have had two backpacks partner with me as I march to and from classes.  One is a now green faded to tan messenger bag and the other is an unassuming black backpack.  Both carry the marks of my college days.  The messenger bag is made up of canvas which has endured brutal Michigan winters and warm spring day rains.  When you look at it you can tell the color has faded substantially.  I have been surprised many times by its load bearing capacity.  To think I wasn't sure how much I would actually use that $20 bag.  Might have been one of the better school supply investments I have made.  The black backpack carries some stories with it.  That bag has seconded as my carry-on baggage on every one of my flights during my college years.  I have gone on numerous weekend trips which demand at least one bag.  The elastic component which holds my Nalgene has stretched out considerably since the day I bought the bag.  More recently this black bag has accompanied me to both Israel and Boston.  There is still Israeli dust on this bag, and honestly I hope it stays.  I think it is pretty cool how a simple contraption like a backpack can remind one of so many stories.

This week was my first week as a college senior (no I am not trying to be sentimental here) and I have finally figured out what the whole point of my major is.  History is not the rote memorization of facts like most believe it is nor is it something that is malleable to the victors like cynics like to believe.  No history is the pursuit to tell the whole story warts and all.  You see with all my reminiscing I realize that I had my hard times too.  I struggled with homesickness while I was away and even bouts of severe pride.  A friend of mine reminded me of my own scars recently.  Deaths, injustice, and sins leave a huge impact on both the individual and the community.  This Sunday the United States will remember the September 11th attacks.  Most people who were around then could tell you where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news for the first time.  A full history of the day would include as many different stories as possible to get a better idea as to how this date was felt worldwide.  You see history is and it is up to us whether or not we recognize it or not.  Each moment in you life is a part of your history, because history is the practice of telling the full story.  In the same vein each and every moment that takes place on Earth is a part of the history of Earth.  Most will probably claim that I am being idealist or too grandiose, and a year ago I would have been right there with you.  To the victors go the spoils of which includes the publishing of history books and the selling of their version of history.  As if the story of this planet was any one country's or man's!  There in lies the issue.  History cannot be packaged, only explored.    Those who are called historians ought to be called explorers, seekers, or simply inquisitive people.  When you deal with story as opposed to math one must remember that the story can change voice as more of the story is revealed.  History is the non-fiction story written by all who have been and are now.  It goes with us into the future just as unsure of what will happen exactly as we are.  It reflects where we have been and allows us to better understand ourselves in light of one another.  It is you and me who will help mold history into what it will be.  No pressure!

Blessings!

September 2, 2011

The Clay

"And those who walk in pride he is able to humble." Daniel 4:37b


Have you ever felt like your life revolves too much around you and your own power?  Let's face it we all have a sense of power.  When this sense of power is threatened there are a few ways in which we can react.  We can act in a defensive manner which can lead to hostility if pushed far enough.  In most of today's thinking it is the pursuit of power that drives us on.  Our homes have become small castles, cars have more horses, governments more regulations, and our sports hit harder than before.  Does this prove anything to you?  Probably not but just goes to say that the natural inclination of man and woman is to be seen as more than the next man or woman.  This is where culture and the Christian walk ought to begin to stand apart.

This whole quagmire of besting the Jones family revolves around pride.  I am sure most of you have already thought about this and have applied your conclusions  to your life.

I write this to remind you that pride is an hourly struggle.  Just this day I found myself fighting pride during a time where I really had nothing to be proud about.  So often the most meaningless thought or thing becomes a source of pride in my life.  I pretend to pride myself in organization and then I do what I did today and forget a scheduled appointment I had planned on earlier this week...  I pretend to pride myself in being a good conversationalist and then I find myself observing a conversation today rather than engaging it...  I hope this does not come off as mopping because that is not my intention.  I simply want to illustrate the breadth of my shallow vanity.  So this blog has become a way in which I am humbled.  I know no other reason as to why I am currently writing this to you all to read.  Sorry if I wasted your time, but like I have written in other blogs writing is therapy and I believe God uses it for my growth and hopefully something beyond me.

I pray next time I write it will be on something more beyond myself.

Blessings