Rarely have my nerves been so reactive to something or someone. It is a shooting sensation in which I can track the progress of each nerve firing to the next so that by the end it feels as though there is a copper wire from my brain to the end of my big toe. It is not painful, but it is noticeable. If you couple the wire feeling with a pulsing pattern which is, I am, sure my heartbeat there is an actue awareness of my whole being. I said this wasn't painful just very different from my average day.
Usually this feeling is fleeting and caused by something I can simply walk away from. In the past few days however the feeling has lingered, and I think I know why. Recently my grandmother moved in with my family. She is recovering from a major accident she had almost 2 months ago now. It is a miracle she is alive. If there is one thing you should know it is that my grandma is a very strong woman. It is hard to see her use a walker and whenever she gets up from a chair on her own my nerves go nuts! I know she can do it, but the story of her accident lingers in my mind. I do not worry about her injuring herself, but still my nerves fly around. I have decided to make my nerves useful. Instead of coupling my flying nerves with a sense of worry I'll remember love.
The cause of my flying nerves has to be in part do to my love for my grandma and wanting the best for her. I've really enjoyed the past few days I've shared with her. We have shared simple and restful days. Something we both need. Instead of worrying about what could be I'll give thanks for what is. My grandma is alive and in my house for the whole break! She is laughing and watching IU basketball like always. Thank God he made her so strong. Thank God he gave her a heart of joy! Let my crazy nerves fly around. I know that my feelings mean nothing compared to the reality of God's hand. I do not need to feel the love of God, because the love of God is present here now. I know it. I pray you come to know this reality in your own life.
Blessings
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