I want to confess something. I do not fully live out humbleness, but instead usually replace it with self-effacement. I do not think I am the only one to struggle with the difference here. I want to explore the difference of these two words by explaining how they operate and their impact on a life.
First, "efface" is only a verb. This means it can only be used as an action. The implication then being that for something to be self-effacement it must be an action. Actions can be both actively pursued and inadvertently done. What I want you to understand here is that efface is not abstract, but rather a tangible and observable action.
What is it to efface? Effacement is to make yourself seem insignificant. It is when your actions lead you and possibly others to believe that you do not matter to yourself. Effacement is the gradual erasure of who you are in yours and others' minds. Effacement is destructive in a gradual sense. As you tell yourself you do not matter here and there you begin to not only believe this lie, but then you live it. Effacement can and will, if given the chance, build a personal prison for its practitioners. You must not believe this lie. You matter. You have a purpose not to be erased, but to live. Maybe I am not being personal enough.
My physical stature, introverted disposition, and the like have led me to many different avenues as to how to cope. I stand at 5'4" and well that is not exactly success in this country (I am very aware of many short men who went on to do great things, I am a historian). I am easily overlooked, in the most literal way, unintentionally and have had to help people who meant no harm in it understand that there was no harm taken. It happens and I hold no grudges for it anymore. When I was young I remember praying for another 2-5 inches. I celebrated reaching 5 foot in my Freshman year of high school. It really mattered to me because it seemed to matter to everyone else. There were many off handed jokes and comments made at the expense of my stature. Oddly, I felt inadequate at times for something I had no control over. I did not wake up in the morning and choose my height for the day. I was and am just short. A similar story though less pronounced has revolved around my introverted disposition. Close friends have always known me as wanting conversation, but not large social functions. This is not say I do not do well addressing large groups of peers formally. Introversion does not prevent individuals from public speaking. Introversion makes social mingling among a large group tolling on an individual. I am very tired after two hours of what I might call "party socializing". Sometimes I will ridicule myself for my avoiding what I know is beneficial social function. There are huge benefits to being an introvert in this extroverted culture though. This blog is one consequence of my time alone. I guess it is up to you if it worth the oddity for me it is.
I have been challenged to cease self-effacement. As a result I have taken up the challenge and added to it. In replacement of self-effacement I want to live out humbleness. I won't erase myself with my actions. Instead I will better understand who I am and for what purpose I am here. Humbleness will open up avenues to understand other people in their respective places and purposes. It is not an erasure, but a promotion of others above self. In other words humbleness allows an individual to hold up another as a promotion of that person. If I erased myself I would never be able to do this.
We all have a purpose.
Blessings
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