Our Greatest Wound

Brother and Sisters,

I will not lie to you this post was prompted by my reflections on Henri Nouwen's The Wounded Healer. I have read this book a number of times over the past 4 years and the last chapter is the sharpest blade to have cut into my pride save the scriptures. Needless to say I recommend the book to all of you and as a bonus it is only 100 pages long! Seriously though you should consider reading it.

Now where were we?

Loneliness ah yes!

Loneliness will always find us. Our days can be plagued with attempts at quelling the lonely reality we inhabit. Maybe we call, text, refresh facebook, or plan hours and hours of experiences with friends. Fellowship is good, but it cannot overcome our loneliness. At some point we all must face a lonely hour, maybe this has not happened to you. Let me share with you part of mine.

One year ago I lived off campus with three close friends. The house we rented was large enough for four to comfortably inhabit. We cooked, cleaned, sang, worked, lounged, and lived basically together. In that house there were more hours spent together (with at least one other housemate) than there were hours spent in solitude. That solitude inevitably came though and with it came the brunt of my loneliness.

In that solitude came self-worth issues, and even tears. You see I have a knack for over-thinking in my loneliness I became my only topic. Those doubts you have of yourself are quite loud in the silence of loneliness. Hours feel like days and you are exhausted when they are over.

Why not go find someone or something to fill those hours of solitude Vince? You may be asking this question by now, and believe me when I say I asked that question constantly. For a while I told myself it was not a big deal to be the only one home. Later I learned that it was a small part of my role in for the house and my housemates. Being the first one home meant I could make sure the door was opened for my brothers. It is what we do with the reality of our loneliness that matters.

Maybe you still deny loneliness convincing yourself that you really only need that perfect man or woman to like you to no longer feel this nagging pest. Maybe you think you only need to pray more. Maybe you think if you were busier you'd be happier and less lonely. Read this next statement carefully. Loneliness is guaranteed to us until God's redemption is fully realized.

In our loneliness we come face to face with ourselves. Our vices, virtues, past, present, and the unsure future. It is frightening to see it all walk before you like that. We have a hope though. A hope that our loneliness can be redeemed not into some pity party, but that God can heal us and others by it.

As Henri Nouwen put it our loneliness gives us the ability to withdraw from a space of ours and let others enter and make of it what they can. We give space to others to explore and learn. We don't have to be addressed to know that we are loved. You see, because at the end of your loneliness you will find that Jesus is there. He smiles and embraces you then sends you out with his love.

So go.
Go tell of your loneliness.
Go tell of your sins.
Tell of your pride and arrogance.
Tell of your hope and love.
Tell of your Lord.
Then withdraw and wait and see what comes to the Lord.

Blessings