A few weeks back I attended a lecture series here at Calvin which focused on worship which was awesome. This lecture series drew in people from all over the nation some of whom represented seminaries that I have an interest in (if you don't know me personally it is only fair to say I am looking into going to seminary if I am still up to the academic environment...). One of these seminaries had an informative meeting for prospective students and free dessert. I found myself there looking at a pamphlet and yeah. This is where it got interesting. I am a short white guy of no real physical presence which is never helpful at these things, because I am not the token minority or the handsome 6 foot tall basketball player with all the charm of a class A actor. Naturally the representatives flocked to the senior whom they already knew was committed to the school and a friend of mine who is a great guy and is from another country. I am not one who needs attention that's why I have a blog. I sat down and decided to wait and see what this seminary's presentation would be like though. It was just a couple graduates who talked about their experience and where their education got them today. They ended the presentation with an exhibition of one of their innovative teaching tools. This was a research project which recorded and commented on a church's Sunday morning services. These were collected over a number of years (the exact number escapes me), and seemed like a lot of work. They showed us a clip from the church's Easter service and there was a prayer and petition portion in the service which went about 20 minutes. The researcher started criticizing the planning of the service because the prayer portion which was led by a handful of believers was not broken up with some sort of song or whatever. I wanted to scream at this researcher. Who is he with his fancy suit and long mustache to tell this church how to run its service?! And that is when all of this started.
I have been a student for almost 16 years now. I am a year and a few months away from graduating with majors in both History and Greek. I don't want to be an academic who sits in the ivory tower and casts down my two cents on all the plebs who walk on the streets below. My vocation is to be the Church and that I know for sure. I hesitate to commit fully to more schooling because school likes to keep me thinking and not doing so much. I want to be a man of words and deeds (classical major in me). I've been emphasizing the words so much to the point that my deeds are either half attempts or simply ideas waiting for time. Then I look at what it is I truly want to do which is preach and in this country to be ordained means to go to seminary. Hmm..... I've invested myself to studies beyond my school work to work towards deepening my theological understanding. I am able to write when given the time and can work on delivering sermons with friends. If I was not in a classroom I would have the time and motivation to study on my own, but it seems no one would give me a chance because I lack an acronym before and/or after my name. I understand more the depth of responsibility I have taken on in my calling to preach which keeps me believing seminary would be responsible of me. In the same moment though I wonder if it would be irresponsible of me to lock myself in another classroom for three or more years....
This is a selfish post and I apologize. I realize we are all busy and confused in our cyclical thought processes. I don't worry though at least not yet. I have a summer internship ahead of me which will be helpful in my walk. Each day is a blessing whether there is rain or sun.
In HIM Always may you be Blessed.
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