Contentment in Purpose

Where is your heart?

Yes this is a loaded question.  You could answer my heart is in my chest sitting under my left breast. Acceptable answer time to move on.







If you're still reading it's because you understand the loadedness of the question.  Where is your heart?  Is it in your appearance?  Does it beat in the presence of a relationship?  Maybe it lies in a skill you practice daily?  In other words, I am asking what motivates you daily?


For a while I would get up because of the expectations set for me.  I wanted to please myself and others.  Not much wrong with this.  I was being a good son, brother, and friend in this motivation.  The issue arose when I did not meet these expectations.  Others may have forgiven me easily, but I never forgave myself without putting my self through the gauntlet of self doubt.  It was sickening.  I'd compare myself to others who I saw as more successful.  I would lose every time.  In this I would also loose sight of what my brothers and sisters were really struggling with.  I lost the ability to hold another accountable, because I was so wrapped up in myself.  I needed to transplant my heart.

I tried pursuing love.  That was silly.  Not the relationship, but my expectations.  I forgot how to live presently.  I lived in a fantasy world of future expectations that had no root in the present.  I was trying to sit on a cloud.  I forgot my parachute.  Simply put, my heart crashed back to Earth and I got to pick through the ruble to find the little black box.

I realized recently that I was turning in on myself again.  I was making my expectations my motivation.  I told my brothers this and they brought me out of myself.  I have found contentment which has been so long absent in my life.

I am learning to live in the hand of my creator.   I am free.  I have learned that I have purpose that is being revealed to me daily in the present.  I may get glimpses of what is to come, but only glimpses because there is much to do now.  In my freedom I bring glory to the Lord.  I dance on the palm of my creator and praise his name in my quiet work.  I can say that I do not care what you think of me.  I only hope and pray that you join me.

My motivation is in knowing that the creator has a purpose in me.  I do not write these blogs for the audience.  I write these posts because it is a way my purpose is accomplished.